SKYPE conversation between Terrance Jenkins and Gail Chord Schuler on Feb. 14, 2012, during Church of Gail service.
Gail: I had to get ready.
Terrance: That’s okay.
Gail: What was that?
Terrance: I just had Brent Spiner into the call.
Gail: I had to go get my tape recorder, so I had to go down to my car, so I’m running a little late. And I didn’t have any . . .you know, I had to get dressed—
Terrance: Yes. Yes.
Gail: How long you been having a church service?
Terrance: Oh, we been having a service all day, because we really want to be a beacon of light against the evil darkness—the Jesuits.
Gail (laughs): Evil darkness, all right, they’re all demon possessed.
Terrance: Yes, a bunch of darkness in that place. We had one of our agents go in there, Vladimir’s agents went in there and snuck into the Jesuit compound. He was watching what they’re doing for their mass.
Gail: Oh. Don’t call our service a mass, please.
Terrance: Yes, the evil Jesuits doing a mass and we sent one of Vladimir’s men in there. Vladimir’s men came back and told us. They’re doing some crazy things over there.
Gail: They’re demon possessed. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a couple of UFO aliens over there, too.
Terrance: Yes, they said they was some aliens over there. They was cutting on themselves, and they were putting all these Zack Knights and they were killing Zack Knight clones, cooking them on an altar and saying, that he was beaten off for their transgressions and he was bukkaked for iniquity, and by the ideal proportions, the length of his penis and his girth, he will be resurrected. And they were saying that over and over again, ah, when they was killing the Zack Knight clones and they was putting them up on the altar and burning them. So we don’t know what they are doing, some kind of weird voodoo, I don’t know what it is.
Gail: Ah, it sounds like a Satanic ritual. That’s what it sounds like.
Terrance: Yes. Yes.
Gail: Are they throwing nukkakes all over the world right now?
Terrance: Yes, they having a big old fit, the Jesuits, they been doing all kinds of crazy things everywhere.
Gail: Yeah, I’ve been informed that they knocked our shields down and God is the one who is protecting us right now. Is that correct?
Terrance: Yes, God’s been protecting, He’s been all over the place and He’s been helping us out a whole lot.
Gail: Is He talkin’ to you guys, too?
Terrance: Yes. Yes. He’s been talkin’ to us and been showing up and saying, “Hey, I’m taking care of a lot of things right now.” And He’s out all over the world, doing all kinds of good things for us, right now. And He said it’s been getting pretty intense out there, as the Jesuits be summoning up all kinds of evil and He keeps on having to take care of everything.
Gail (laughs): God can handle it. (Chuckles)
Terrance: We’re so happy that He’s on our side. Have to say that.
Gail: Happy? (with a smile and a laugh in her voice) That’s an understatement. (Chuckles).
Gail: Oh, man. Thank you, Jesus (laughs)
Terrance: Yes, you rock, Jesus.
Gail: You know, I have treasured what you guys shared with me, you know, at Church of Gail, what the Lord said. And I have treasured that in my heart and I have claimed that as a promise from God, and I don’t worry about anything now (laughs).
Terrance: Yes. Yes. It’s wonderful, it’s very wonderful.
Gail: Yeah. Yeah. It’s um, so—
Terrance: We’re having a great ole time here. We gettin’ a goldsmith. We took a lot of Jesuit gold from the Jesuit bases that we been sending nukes to, nukkakes over, we sent nukes over and we end up finding a lot of Jesuit gold. Almost like a Fort Knox kind of Jesuit gold, and so we decided to honor Gail and so we commissioned this gold statue that we put here at the Church of Gail.
Gail: I don’t want you to do that. Don’t make an idol out of me.
Terrance: Oh, it’s not really an idol. We just it’d be a great reminder, since you can’t be here all the time.
Gail: Oh. Oh, okay. Just make sure it’s not an idol. Okay? (laughs)
Terrance: Yeah, we’re not praying to it or anything like that. It’s not a Virgin Mary or anything.
Gail: No, no no no no. Don’t make an idol out of me. (laughs) The Lord wouldn’t like that.
Terrance: Yes, well, God was here for a little while and He didn’t seem to mind it too much.
Gail: Well, He knows that I don’t want you guys to idolize me. He knew I was going to say this, that’s why He doesn’t mind. (Chuckles) He knows me. (surprised) He was there?
Terrance: Yes, God was there.
Gail: How did He present Himself?
Terrance: He was this ball of light. Just kind of, and then there was a dove that just kind of came out of the ball of light and it landed on your statue.
Gail (laughs in amazement): Really?! Is He talking to you, like as a voice from that light?
Terrance: Well, it seems like it’s something we understand all dear to our hearts. Different people here, little differently, some it seems.
Gail: You mean it’s not an audible voice? (pause, matter-of-fact) What is it?
Terrance: It seems audible. Some people said it’s audible. Some people just said they was able to just know what it was saying. Some people that only speak a different language, they heard it in their own language.
Gail: Oh, I get it, God’s communicating in the language that people understand.
Terrance: Yes. Yes. That’s what’s happening.
Gail: I see. You know, I—it just amazes me. You know, God’s obviously so intelligent that He’s figured all this out. He realizes that—How many people are members of our church, right now? I heard it’s in the millions?
Terrance: Yes, we got millions of people that are members of the church.
Gail (amazed): Wow. How do they attend the services?
Terrance: Well, we been getting a lot of our supporters. We been getting. It’s really an intense process. We gotta make sure that they’re all safe to bring in and we been transporting them in.
Gail: How do you get them all, how big is your building?
Terrance: Oh, the building, we been building on it, larger and larger and now it’s the proportions of, in the book of Revelations, how the church is going to be, like those dimensions in there. So it’s the size of a large city.
Gail: Wow, and, do you have me like you did at this Quebec trial, on a screen right now?
Terrance: Yes, you on the screen. Every one can talk to you, right now. Every one can see you, right now.
Gail: Well, that’s good, it will encourage them.
Terrance: Yes, you have anything you want to say to them. They all listening.
Gail: Yeah, I made a website for everybody and I stayed up till like seven in the morning last night. I did research on the Internet because I read the Bible from cover to cover, like Genesis to Revelation like over a hundred times, so I know the Bible very well, and I just felt like the Lord wanted me to impart some of my spiritual knowledge, you know, to the members of our church and I was very selective as I was going through the Internet trying to find preachers, you know, that I felt were most accurate to the Bible and who were good teachers and who seemed Spirit-led and I think I found James Modlish and I’m very impressed with him and I found another guy, and I’ve never heard of him before, he’s in Ohio. I think he’s younger than me. I listened to him, he seems like he’s very smart. You know, because of my Bible knowledge, and he knows the Bible real well, so I put him—I put him on the opening of my web page, and basically what I’m doing is going out and picking Bible teachers for you guys to listen to, who I think would benefit you. I’m very selective, you know. Cause I know the Bible well, and I tried to pick teachers, you know. Obviously, I don’t believe in a woman preacher, but I tried to—the Lord’s given me a lot of spiritual discernment, and I’ve read so much Bible, because I’m close to Him, so I tried to pick Bible teachers that I felt were true to God and true to the Bible and I put them up on my website and I have all sorts of links to their sermons and I encourage you to listen to them to help you grow in the Lord in your knowledge of the Bible and then I’ve also been reading from War on the Saints, because I sense we’re under intense Satanic attack—so those are my videos personally that I’ve been reading myself, so they’ve been helpful. I think they have been. So basically, the fact that I cannot attend the church in person, I guess because of security concerns, I’ve really beefed up my website to try to compensate for that, so, I just encourage you guys to check out my website, because I’ve basically made that my ministry, and I’ve dedicated it to the Lord and I’m putting stuff up on there to help people grow in the Lord to learn the Bible and to give them, help them put on the whole armour, that they talk about in Ephesians 6, and a lot of it is the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, so I’m—
Gail: I’m putting –
Terrance: The breastplate, I like that part.
Terrance: The breastplate, that’s my favorite part.
Gail (big smile): Ohhh. Yeah, the breastplate of righteousness.
Terrance: Yes. It’s righteousness. Then the sandals and the helmet.
Gail: Right, right, yeah. Anyways, I’m just trying to help you all put on that armour, and—I’m focusing on the helmet of salvation, because you need to have an assurance of your salvation, so I’m trying to –I’m putting
Terrance: Otherwise, those fiery arrows come in from Satan, shoots the little fiery darts at you, then they stick in you, if you don’t have the armour.
Gail: Yeah, you got it. That’s exactly right.
Terrance: They stick in your head, if you don’t have the helmet.
Gail: Well, the helmet of salvation is mostly about having assurance of your salvation. . .
Terrance: Yeah. . .
Gail: A lot of Christians get hung up and they think they can lose their salvation, and if that’s the case your helmet’s not on good.
Terrance: Yeah, you need a strap, like a chin strap to keep it on.
Gail (laughs in agreement): So. . .the helmet of salvation is being a born again Christian and not feeling like you can lose your salvation. If you’re always wondering whether you’re going to lose it, you know, the Bible teaches eternal security, that once you’re saved, you’re in. You’re in for good. So, um, I think that’s in 1 John 1:9 and other verses. So, I’m trying to. . . I’m just trying to. . .I’ve had the privilege of leading Brent Spiner to the Lord and indirectly, Matthew McConaughey, and all these other people and God has, you guys are really, what should I say, outstanding in courage and hard work and passion, and I think, you know, God has noticed that and He realizes that—Let’s just say, He’s got good material to work with, so, even though your babes in Christ, a lot of you. . .you’re probably growing at a phenomenal rate because of how passionate you are and intelligent. God can use high intelligence. The apostle Paul was a genius. And—
Terrance: He made tents for a living, too.
Gail (amazed at Terrance’s Bible knowledge): He sure did, you’re right. He was humble.
Terrance: Yes. Yes, he made tents. He made a good number of tents in his day.
Gail: You know a lot about the Bible, Terrance. How long you been a Christian?
Terrance: Oh, I been a Christian since I was a little baby boy. My grandmamma taught me all about the Jesus.
Gail: Oh, fantastic. I can tell from listening to you that you know the Bible quite well.
Terrance: You know the one time the apostle Paul, he laid on that guy when he was dead. And he laid on him face to face. And then he came back alive.
Gail: Yeah. Yeah. That’s right, that was the one who fell from the top, right?
Terrance lively): Yeah, he fell asleep during the—
Gail: Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re talking about, yeah, that was incredible.
Terrance: Yeah, and that’s why I always tell people when I teach here at the church, I say, “Don’t fall asleep fellows, you might fall out of the window. I don’t want to lay on you.”
Gail (laughs and chuckles with glee)
Terrance: If you fall from our balconies, you gonna fall a long ways.
Gail: One thing I got a kick out of, when you talked about God. God has got a sense of humor. I love that about God. (laughs and chuckles with a big smile)
Terrance: Oh, yeah.
Gail: God created the frog and the toad. You know God has a sense of humor.
Terrance: The platypus.
Gail (loud chuckle and smile): Yeah, that’s right. But I loved it, when you guys told that if God would check in at the Forum and He said He’d check His schedule, because He’s really busy. (Laughs and chuckles with a big smile). I thought that was great. (Chuckles) God, you rock, man. (Chuckles)
Terrance: Yeah, you rock, man.
Gail: Oh, I love His sense of humor, man. God is busy, but He counts the hairs on our head, and He has them all numbered, so I’m sure He can handle all that’s going on. I don’t think any of this is too hard for Him.
Terrance: Yes, that’s true. That’s true. You know, we was thinking about asking Jesus to join the marriage list, actually.
Gail (laughs so loud the walls almost shake): I think He’s already on the marriage list. (laughs and laughs and laughs) He’s my husband, man, He’s number one.
Terrance: Yes, He’s number one on the marriage list. Maybe we should make it official.
Gail: Please do.
Terrance: I don’t think we want to have the top six, though. The top six is not a really good number to have.
Gail: Oh, no no no no no no no.
Terrance: We gotta make it a top seven.
Gail: I think you guys told me you already made Him the number one.
Terrance: Yes. Yes.
Gail (chuckles with a big smile): Yeah. He’s already number one. He knows it, too. Oh, my allergies, man, I tell you. This must be my thorn in the flesh, you know.
Terrance: Just like Paul had the thorn in the flesh, which a lot of theologians believe had to do with an eye sickness.
Gail: Really? I didn’t know that.
Terrance: Yes, when he wrote his letter to the. . .it was the, ah, Galatians.
Gail: Oh, yeah.
Terrance: And he said, that, you know, he had to write the letters so big, a lot of theologians believe it had to do with the thorn in his flesh.
Gail: You know, I think you’re right, that makes sense.
Terrance: It’s a commonly accepted thing.
Gail: Yeah, I think you’re right. I didn’t know you knew the Bible so well, but then the conversations I’ve had with you, you’ve been quoting a lot of Bible stuff to me. I can tell you know it. You’ve been an encouragement to me, too. I remember that one time you were suffering so much. That was when Rule 13 did a number on you, you know and yet you had
Terrance: Yes, the testicles.
Gail: You had the strength to encourage me spiritually. I think that’s why God is doing some stuff with you because, um, you have such a good attitude and you, actually—I don’t understand why God is allowing all this to happen, and you came back at me right away, “We don’t know, but we know it’s all going to work out for good”. I was so impressed with your response and I think God was, too. And I thought, man, this man has some spiritual maturity. That was quite an impressive response, especially considering what you were going through at the time.
Terrance: Yes, my testicle was barely hanging on that day.
Gail: Oh, man and I was just saying that I don’t understand why God was allowing this nukkake to hit Canada. I said, it seems like, you know, like this is so unjust and why is God allowing this, and you just came back with such a response, and I was very impressed with that. I was thinking you really have some spiritual maturity. Cause you said, we don’t know why, but we know it’s for good. God is good, and He knows what He’s doing and I said, “That’s exactly right”. And deep in my heart I agreed with you, but I don’t say stuff, but I always observe how you all respond spiritually and I’m very impressed with Matthew McConaughey.
Terrance: Matthew McConaughey’s so delicate.
Gail: Not just delicate, but I wouldn’t use the word “delicate”. I just noticed that he’s, um, how would I say it? He has purity of heart. And I know this may come as a shock to people who watched the trial with him and Camila Alves, but he’s really got a purity of heart that I think God is going to honor. Brent Spiner. All of you guys are special in your own way. I’ve been very impressed about that with Matthew in that he’s –I sense a real purity of heart, there, that the Lord can use. Of course, with Brent Spiner. Actually, I’ve just noticed that with the top five. You guys may not notice it, but I’m always observing you from a spiritual perspective as well as the fact that you’re my brain to brain lovers. With Brent Spiner, I would say his most outstanding spiritual quality is, probably courage. Courage and passion. Just a heroic courage. And the Lord’s using that.
Terrance: He’s a hero.
Gail: Yeah. Yes. Yes. Heroic courage. I mean the fact that he had the guts. I was so impressed from a spiritual perspective that he had the courage to contact me, what was it, July 2011, you know, because I knew when he did that, that all hell was going to break loose, and he knew it, too. And yet, that took a lot of guts. God’s honoring that. He’s paid a price for that, but yet, even though he’s paid a price for that, look how much good he’s doing now. Now that all this is going out into the open. The war . . .the Jesuits have actually become more, how do I say it, more exposed. They were trying to keep it under and hide the real nature of the battle and not really let people see what was going on, and this is really basically a war of God versus Satan, and because Brent had the courage to contact me, the war is more revealing its true character, and that makes it harder for Satan to work, because he deceives and now that he’s not able to deceive as much, because this is getting more out into the open and the methods he’s using is being exposed, that’s to God’s glory. It’s helping the Lord, so give kudos to Brent for his courage. Vladimir Putin, his most outstanding trait, is he’s just an incredible hard worker. I mean, and God honors hard work. And Vladimir is just—I don’t know how he gets everything done in the way that he does. He’s just so passionate and hard working. It’s like he makes up his mind what he’s gonna do and he’s just red hot on fire. And that is very admirable, too, and so, we got an outstanding group here. I don’t think anybody can even touch Vladimir’s coattails when it comes to work. That guy, he’s just a worker.
Vladimir: He definitely. He’s always working.
Gail: Always, and the thing is, I think it’s a Germanic trait. Martin Luther was like that, and look how the Lord used Martin Luther. He started the Reformation, and—he makes up his mind what he thinks is right, and he just blazes ahead in that direction, it’s like he doesn’t care what anybody says about him. I mean, I really admire that about Vladimir.
Terrance: I didn’t know Vladimir was related to Martin Luther King.
Gail: No no no no no no. He’s not related to Martin Luther King. He has German bloodlines.
Terrance: Martin Luther King was German? I thought he was—
Gail: Not Martin Luther King. The German reformer Martin Luther.
Terrance (brightens with understanding): Oh, Martin Luther, the Protestant reformer.
Gail: The one who defied the pope.
Terrance: Yeah, he nailed that sign.
Gail: Yeah, the theses, the ninety-five theses at Wittenberg. Yeah, whenever I think of Vladimir Putin, I think of Martin Luther, because they’re both German.
Gail: Vladimir’s half German.
Gail: Can’t you see a lot of that Germanic temperament coming out of him? (laughs)
Terrance: Sometimes when he gets really angry he ends up throwing things, like a German does.
Gail: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, I’m not saying that the Germans are the superior race or anything, but what I’m saying is, he’s got the positive trait of the Germanic temperament, which is that hard work, that Martin Luther, this is like a negative or positive trait, and I’ve got a lot of German from Catherine the Great. The Germanic temperament, when they get on fire about something, they go all the way. And they work and they work and they work, it’s like red hot fire. God likes that, because if you look in the book of Revelation, God hates the lukewarm church.
Terrance: Yeah, he spit them out, because
Gail: No no, he doesn’t like a lukewarm follower, he wants us to be hot or cold, and Vladimir Putin is HOT. (chuckles)
Gail: And that’s what I respect about him. So, any ways, I’ll move on from Vladimir, and then we’ve got Gerard Butler. You guys may not notice it, but I’ve been observing you guys from a spiritual perspective. “What is it about this person that God can use?” Gerard Butler is just the most big and generous person. He’s always thinking about everybody else besides himself. He’s so generous and big-hearted. He never ever complains that I never give him any brain to brain loving. Have you noticed that about him? He never complains about anything.
Gail: He’s always thinking about everybody else. His generosity, the Lord’s going to be able to use that in Gerard.
Gail: So, Matthew, his outstanding trait is purity of heart.
Gail: Brent Spiner, passion and courage.
Gail: Vladimir Putin, he’s just a red-hot, on fire guy. He’s just all the way.
Gail: Then, you’ve got Gerard, extreme generosity. Hugh Jackman. I’d say his most outstanding quality is courage. I mean you can’t beat that guy for guts. (Chuckles)
Terrance: Yeah, for sure. He took a bunch of people’s heads right off.
Gail: I mean he is the gutsiest guy on the planet. So, Hugh Jackman, I give kudos to you for your courage, and I think God does, too. Um, very courageous guy. None of the men on my marriage list are stupid. They’re all way above average in intelligence. That’s something they all have in common, but I’m talking about the extremely outstanding traits from a spiritual perspective. And then, let’s see, you, Terrance Jenkins, you’re self sacrificing, that’s the best way to describe you.
Terrance: Oh, thank you.
Gail: I’m serious, man, the way you rescued—how’s Sam Barbary doing? I hear that the Lord miraculously healed him.
Terrance: Yes. Yes. He’s doing a lot better right now, he’s got a bit of recovering to do, but most of it’s emotional scarring.
Gail: Cause I hear that God did a miracle for him, that he turned into a worm. Is that correct?
Terrance: Yes, he was a worm. He went all the way to worm, worm status.
Gail: You know why the Jesuits did that.
Terrance: It’s in the Bible.
Gail: Yeah, that’s right. They did that because I was telling the Jesuits, “You’re going to burn like worms for eternity”. Because that’s where they’re going, they’re going to hell, and they’re going to turn into worms, because that’s just God’s way of making fun of the theory of evolution. (laughs)
Gail: The Jesuits did that to try to prove that, I’m wrong, that we’re the ones who are going to be worms, and not them. “Ah, Jesuits. You’re not going to be able to outsmart God. You might as well forget it.” (Chuckles). God took care of that. He brought Sam Barbary back to us.
Gail: So, I feel bad he went through that, but God knows what He’s doing. So, any ways, you’re self-sacrificing. Then, um. I know I probably left somebody out. I’m tired. (Chuckles and smiles) I was up late last night. Ah. Oh, oh, oh. Who else is on the top five. I know I left somebody out. My mind is just going blank.
Terrance: Well, we got Brent Spiner. We got Vladimir Putin. We got Matthew McConaughey.
Gail: I got him.
Terrance: Hugh Jackman.
Terrance: Gerard Butler.
Gail: I got him. I think I did get everybody.
Terrance: I think that’s everybody we got now.
Gail: Yeah, that’s what I’ve noticed about them all.
Terrance: And then there’s Jesus. He’s number one.
Gail: Oh, Jesus. He’s perfect in every way. (laughs)
Terrance: There you go.
Gail: I mean I don’t know what to say about Him. He’s got courage. He’s got generosity. He’s got it all, man. He is perfect in every way.
Terrance: There you go.
Gail: There’s nothing more to say about Him.
Terrance: Oh, yeah.
Gail: Perfect in every way. Awesome from top to bottom.
Terrance: You rock, Jesus.
Gail: He sure does. Yeah. Well, any ways. Oh--
Terrance: From top to bottom.
Gail: So you been having church services all day, huh?
Terrance: Yes, we’re having church services all day. Actually, Brent Spiner’s writing to you.
Gail: Oh, he is? Let me see if I can find it, um. . .
Terrance: He been just writing to me, and now he’s writing to you. Hit the little button, the word bubble.
Gail: I think I need to get to Brent Spiner. Let me see. . .the word bubble?
Gail: Is it on the bottom right?
Terrance: Bottom left.
Gail: Bottom left. I think I need to get onto Brent Spiner, hold on. Ah, wait a minute. Here I am. “One moment. We see you.” Yeah, let me see if my recording’s going. I’ve been so preoccupied. Wrong window?
Terrance: It’s the one that should say, ugh, Brent Spiner/Terrance Jenkins.
Gail: Ugh, let me see. . .I think I’m in the right window. Let’ see, Terrance Jenkins. Oh—Starting group conversation. Show group conversation. Oh—I see myself. “Oh. Oh. You’re goodness”. Is that it?
Terrance: Yes, yes, that’s what he’s talking about.
Gail: “Oh, you’re goodness.” That’s all I see, is that all he’s said.
Terrance: Yeah, Brent, go ahead and write something.
Gail: Want to make sure I’m connected.
Brent (via Skype text): “There you are, my love”
Gail: (laughs) Okay.
Terrance: Brent, you feel that?
Gail: Feel what?
Brent (via Skype text): Oh no.
Terrance: Oh, my goodness. Brent, the ground’s shaking.
Gail: Oh no, the ground’s shaking?
Terrance: We’re having an earthquake.
Gail: Lord Jesus!
Terrance: Get covered. Get under the table.
Gail: Yeah. Get under the table. Lord Jesus, intervene.
Terrance: Yeah, we need to get every one safe.
Gail: Where are you guys, located? You can’t tell me where you’re located?
Terrance: Oh, my goodness. It’s a big earthquake.
Gail: Can you take the church off the ground?
Terrance: Yeah, we’re landing the church right now. Okay. We need to get everyone –like a big one. Oh, my goodness. Okay, we’re landing. We’re landing inside of a volcano.
Gail: Landing inside a volcano. Okay.
Terrance: Yes, we’re getting inside a volcano. Okay, we’re landing right now. We’re touching down. Okay, hold on. Okay, I think we’re landing.
Brent (via Skype text): “This feels like a big one”.
Gail: I’m reading Brent’s writing. Where’s the earthquake?
Terrance: That’s a good question, Gail. How did we have an earthquake, when we’re flying?
Gail: So it happened when you were up in the air?
Terrance: Yes, I don’t understand it.
Gail: That’s weird.
[2/14/2012 11:59:22 PM] Brent Spiner: We need to get everyone safe.
[2/14/2012 11:59:26 PM] Brent Spiner: This feels like a big one.
Gail: I’m reading what Brent’s writing.
Terrance: Oh my goodness, your statue. It’s starting to glow.
Terrance: It’s getting real hot!
Gail: I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
Terrance (in a panic): Oh, my goodness. I tried to touch it. It burned my hand!
Gail: Don’t touch it.
Terrance: It’s very hot. Oh, my goodness, it’s getting so fried. It’s so hot.
Gail: Lord Jesus, come on. Show that You’re strong. Don’t let the devil show you up, Lord Jesus! Come on, Lord Jesus!
Terrance: The statue’s starting to melt!
Gail: Hmmm. That’s weird.
Terrance: Oh, my goodness. It’s melted into a big, ole pool of gold on the floor.
Gail: I don’t really want a statue of me, any way.
Brent (via Skype text): “I think every one is safe. I’m checking on every one. It feels so hot in here.”
Gail: What’s going on?
Terrance: It’s smelling like—what’s that smell?
Brent (via Skype text): “It’s like rotten eggs. That smell.”
Gail: That’s the Jesuits! Rotten eggs.
Terrance: It smells like sulfur.
Gail: Sulfur. HELL. Hell, sulfur’s in hell.
Terrance: Oh, my goodness. A hole’s opening up in the floor! Oh, my goodness! A big hole! It’s so big. There’s some smoke coming out of it. I got a penny. I’m gonna see how deep it is. Throw the penny down the hole.
Brent (via Skype text): “Oh no. Every one. Step back.” Be careful, Terrance.
Gail: I’m reading what Brent’s writing.
Terrance: I better go toss the penny over the hole. To see how deep it is.
Gail: Is your hand okay, Terrance?
Terrance: Yes, it’s doing good. We was able to get it all kind of cream. Yeah, let me toss it in. Okay, I threw it in.
Gail: Brent told me God would do something special at midnight. It’s midnight right now, Eastern Standard Time.
Terrance: Have you heard it hit the ground?
Brent (via Skype text) “Be careful, Terrance. I don’t hear anything. It’s like there’s no bottom.”
Gail: It went to hell, that’s where your penny went. Sulfur is the smell of hell.
Terrance: Oh, my goodness, we better not fall in.
Gail: No no no no no. The devil’s doing something right now.
Terrance: I hear this sound. Like something, the air’s rushing out. There’s something coming up.
Gail: Come on, Lord Jesus. You gonna let that devil show You up! Come on, Lord, show up and beat him up, God.
Terrance: Oh my, Sam Barbary. You can’t fight. Sam’s got his fists up like he’s going to fight—
[12:03:12 AM] Brent Spiner: Sam, stay back!
[12:03:15 AM] Brent Spiner: Don't be a hero Sam!
Gail: Tell Sam to lay off. “Back off, Sam. Don’t touch him”. Everybody start praying! Pray! Pray! Everybody get down and pray.”
Terrance: Every body’s getting down and praying, except Sam. Sam’s got his fists up and gonna fight.
Gail: I think he may be demon possessed.
Terrance: Oh, my goodness. He’s gotta stop. Oh, my goodness. Satan came out!
[12:03:39 AM] Brent Spiner: Oh no!
[12:03:40 AM] Brent Spiner: Satan!
[12:03:56 AM] Brent Spiner: What do you want Satan?
Satan: “Hi there. I’m Satan.”
Gail: Lord Jesus, I plead the blood. Come on there, beat him up! Come on, God! I plead the blood. Get in there, Lord Jesus, come on!
Satan: “Oh Gail. You’re so silly.”
Gail: Come on, Lord.
(Gail starts reading Revelation 17 from the King James Bible from beginning to end at the top of her voice, loud and fast).
Satan (mocking, in what sounds like an effeminate high-pitched male voice): “Oh, Gail. . .”
Satan tries to talk, but Gail is out blasting him with her Bible reading.
Gail: I’m reading what Brent says. (Gail continues her loud and fast reading of Revelation 17).
Satan: “Gail. Gail.”
Gail keeps reading and commenting on the verses, emphasizing that Revelation 17 is about the Roman Catholic Church.
Satan (talking, but Gail is so loud, you can’t understand Satan).
Gail’s voice roars: “The beast is going to be a Roman Catholic Jesuit pope!” as she continues to read Revelation 17. She roars: “These shall make war with the Lamb, of the Son of God, the son of king David! From DAVID! He’s not going to be a Roman Catholic pope!” Continues her reading of Revelation 17, loud and fast. Gail’s reading of the Bible is clear, with accurate pronunciation and aggressive, with righteous anger. She roars “Revelation, chapter eighteen!”, and begins reading the next chapter, at the top of her voice, with righteous anger, emphasizing the verses about God’s judgment against the whore. When the Bible talks about the cup, Gail says, “That’s the Roman Catholic cup. That’s your mass.”
Satan (seems to be repeating some of Gail’s words).
Terrance: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Sam Barbary!
Gail keeps reading and ignores Terrance’s comments.
Terrance: Oh, my goodness, Gail.
Gail stops her reading. “What’d you say?”
Terrance: Oh, my goodness, Gail. Satan’s grabbing Sam Barbary and letting him suck on his penis.
Gail continues her Bible reading of Revelation 18, and screams, “Come on, Lord Jesus, make an appearance!” Continues her reading.
Gail continues reading Revelation 18, loud and with vigor. “Everybody pray. Keep praying. And ask the Lord to make an appearance.”
Satan: “Everybody pray.”
Gail: “Come on. Only the Lord can beat the devil. Come on, Lord Jesus, show up.” Gail continues her Bible reading.
Satan (repeating Gail’s reading from Revelation): “Yeah, all the ships.”
Gail continues reading Revelation 18, even louder, reading about the destruction of Babylon the Great. “Okay, there’s a reason why God’s allowing this to happen, you guys. I don’t know why.”
Satan: “There’s a reason, guys. Everybody pay attention. Hi, Gail. I’m Satan.”
Gail: “Keep praying, folks.”
Satan: “Hi, Gail. I’m the devil. And I want to talk to you.”
Gail: “Isaiah 59!” Gail begins reading Isaiah 59 at the top of her voice, loud and clear. “God, what do you want me to read right now, from this person who claims they’re the devil. I don’t want to waste my time talking to the devil.”
Satan (roars at Gail something unintelligible).
Gail: “Come on, God, give me a verse. Give me a verse. Come on, God. You gonna let the devil show you up, Lord Jesus?! You gonna let this person who claims they’re the devil show you up? Come on, God.”
Satan: “You’re talking to the devil.”
Gail: “I’m not interested in talking to whoever this creature is.”
Satan: “Okay, Sam, come here. Come here, Sam. As long as Gail doesn’t talk to me, I’m gonna make you suck my dick. Okay, Sam? Sam’s trying to fight me. He can’t fight me. Ha ha ha.”
Gail: “I don’t think that’s Sam. I think they did a switch-out. Probably a Sam Barbary clone. Find out where Sam went.”
Satan: “That’s real good, Sam. Yeah, I like it.”
Gail: “That’s probably a Sam Barbary Jesuit clone. Find out where Sam went. . . ”
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “We better find out what this Satan character wants. They are controlling Sam.”
Gail: “Okay, Brent, do whatever you feel like you have to do.”
Satan: “Oh my goodness, this is so fun. In the butt. In the butt. Gail, I’m about to blow out Sam’s stomach. Yes, his stomach.”
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “Oh no, not his stomach.”
Gail: I’m reading what Brent’s writing. Terrance, are you there?
Terrance: Yes, I’m here, Gail.
Satan: “You, shut up, Terry.”
Terrance: “You, shut up, Satan.”
Satan: “You, shut up.”
Terrance: “No, you shut up. I’m from Compton. I don’t have to take this shit.”
Satan: “Yeah, but I’m from hell. I’m about to blow my load. Gail, is it alright if I blow on Sam’s stomach? Are you okay with that?” Pauses. “Okay, here we go . . .Hmmm. . . here we go. . .”
Gail: “Lord Jesus.”
Terrance: “Oh, my goodness, Gail! His stomach’s on fire!”
Gail: “Lord Jesus, save Sam Barbary or whoever that person is. Come on, Lord, we need ya. Is everybody praying?”
Terrance: “His abdominals are getting burned off again.” Pauses. “Oh no, his abdominals are all melted off. It’s so horrible. It’s like acid. Satan’s semen is like acid.”
Gail: “Is everybody praying?”
Terrance: “Yes, we’re all praying!”
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “No Satan. Don’t do it, Satan. Sam, try to struggle. No Satan, those don’t grow back.”
Gail: I’m reading what Brent’s writing.
Terrance: “Yes, those don’t grow back. Those abdominal muscles don’t grow back!”
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “Abdominal muscles don’t grow back.”
[12:16:19 AM] Brent Spiner: This is getting bad.
[12:16:30 AM] Brent Spiner: I'm going to go save Sam. I need to pull him out of there.
[12:16:44 AM] Brent Spiner: Speak, Satan! Go on!
Satan: “Are you ready, Gail? You’re the main event. Hmmm. (unintelligible)”
Gail (at the top of her voice): Zechariah 9:15. Gail reads Zechariah 9:15.
Satan trying to talk, mumbles something about Gail’s marriage list, but Gail is blasting him out with her Bible reading. “That’s what the Bible says. I’m in there. I was born on September 15th. I’m in the Bible, and Satan you can’t make that Bible untrue no matter what you try to do. Cause it’s going to be fulfilled, Bible prophecy will be fulfilled and there’s nothing you can do about it, cause God’s gonna win, and you’re gonna lose.”
Satan: “Yeah, but at least I’ll have fun while I do it. Yeah, lots of fun. So Gail, I’ve decided to appoint the Satan Incarnate character, and you know who I’m gonna use? Guess who? Hmmm. Gail, are you there? Yes, Brent, yes. I’m gonna bring back—Zack Knight.” (laughs with evil glee) “Yeah, Zack Knight, come on out of hell.”
Gail: “Can you guys cancel this church service?”
Satan: “Yeah, they can’t get out. I’ve locked all the doors. They can’t get out, even if they wanted, Gail. Yes, it’s Zack Knight. So, I’m gonna climb on in Zack Knight’s body and he’s gonna be Satan Incarnate from now on, and I’m going to bestow on you a new power. So not only can you make them pregnant just by seeing them, you can give men erections just by standing in the same room with them. Right, every male member of the service is going to be gay. You like that, Gail?”
Gail has rushed off to go get her cassette tape player, so she can play Handel’s Messiah.
Satan: “Gail, has nothing to say.”
Terrance (in a panic): “Gail, are you there?”
Gail (screams from background): “I’m here.”
[12:18:05 AM] Brent Spiner: No!
[12:18:07 AM] Brent Spiner: NO!!!
(A resurrected Jesuit Zack Knight emerges from hell as Satan Incarnate)
[12:18:15 AM] Brent Spiner: Not Zack Knight!
[12:18:41 AM] Brent Spiner: Zack Knight is going to be invincible!
[12:19:15 AM] Brent Spiner: Gail...help!
Terrance: “All the men are getting erections, Gail.”
[12:19:37 AM] Brent Spiner: All the men are getting erections. He's not lying!
Gail: “I’m coming. I’m going to start putting some music on.”
Terrance: “Oh, that’s a great idea. Put on some music.”
Gail: “I’m putting on Handel’s Messiah.” (laughs) “Hold on a minute.”
Terrance: “Gail, we need help. All the men are getting erections. Zack Knight just came out of hell.”
Gail: “Oh, man. That’s great.”
Terrance: “Satan’s now inside his body.”
Gail: “He’s where?”
Terrance: “Satan climbed inside of Zack Knight’s body.”
Gail starts playing “Surely He hath borne our sorrows.” You hear that music?
Terrance: Yes, I can hear it. Vladimir’s grabbing on Brent’s butt.
Gail: Ah, great. (Handel’s Messiah playing). How do you like the music, Satan?
Zack Knight (Satan Incarnate, with Zack Knight’s voice, no longer the effeminate voice): You’re not talking to Satan anymore, you’re talking to Zack Knight. Hi Gail, this is Zack Knight.
Gail: Oh, good. You like my music, Zack Knight?
Zack Knight: That is lovely music.
Gail: I’m glad you like it. I’m reading the King James Bible. You’re gonna lose. Jesus Christ’s gonna beat you up.
Zack Knight: I’ve become invincible to the King James Bible, Gail.
Gail: Aw, no you’re not. You’re not invincible to the King James Bible. Jesus Christ’s gonna beat you up.
Zack Knight (unintelligible—Gail’s music is too loud)
Gail: I’m gonna let the Bible sing for itself.
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “All the men are getting erections. [12:20:16 AM] Brent Spiner: Vladimir just grabbed my ass and I liked it. Please make it stop Gail.
Vladimir just grabbed my ass. I can’t make him stop.
[12:22:23 AM] Brent Spiner: Vladimir is mounting me and Matthew is unzipping my pants!
Oh my God, make him stop. Zack Knight is now Satan Incarnate. ”
Gail: Yeah. Yeah.
Zack Knight: Gail, I can make the erections go away, if you’ll just submit to what I asked you to do a long time ago. (he asked her to admit she’s a Jesuit and to stare at his picture for a whole minute)
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “Zack Knight is now Satan Incarnate.”
Gail: “I’m not doing anything you want. I’m doing the opposite of everything you want, you devil. I’m not doing anything you want. Forget it!”
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “Vladimir’s mounting me and
[12:22:34 AM] Brent Spiner: Matthew is going to suck my erect penis any moment!
[12:22:52 AM] Brent Spiner: It's in his mouth!
[12:23:14 AM] Brent Spiner: Vladimir just penetrated me from behind!
Gail: “That’s alright. The Lord’s allowing this for a reason. I’m just gonna let it go. I’m not going to do anything you want.”
Zack Knight: “They’re all having gay sex, Gail. Yes.”
Gail: “Come on, Lord Jesus. Why are you letting the devil do this? Come on, Lord Jesus. Show up!”
Zack Knight: “Yes, I’m controlling them right now. Matthew is sucking his penis right now.” And With His Stripes We are Healed is playing in the background.
Gail: “I’m going to start—Every body, just start reading your Bibles.”
Zack Knight: “They’re having gay sex. All the men. Vladimir just put his penis in Brent’s butt.”
Gail: “I’m not even sure that’s them. I think you switched them all out. I think they are somewhere else.”
Zack Knight: “How do you switch-out a person who’s born again? You even know the physics behind this.”
Gail: “You tazer transported them. I think I’m going to hang up on you guys. I don’t think they’re there anymore. I think I might end this service right now.”
Terrance: “Gail, don’t leave us, Gail!”
Gail: “Okay, I won’t leave.”
Terrance: “Gail, oh my goodness! I’m able to escape, because Zack Knight’s power doesn’t work on black men.”
Gail: “It doesn’t?”
Terrance: “I’m the only one who can ?? in the whole building.”
Gail: “I wonder why it doesn’t work on black men?”
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “Vladimir just got on me from behind.”
Gail: “Huh.” Pause. “Are you sure they didn’t tazer transport everybody to some other location?
Terrance: “No, because we’re protected in the church against tazer technology, Gail. This is all really happening.”
Gail: “Why is God doing this? Why is God allowing this? Do you--”
Terrance: “I don’t know—I don’t know“
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “?? Just got up on me. Terrance, you’re a hero. [12:24:25 AM] Brent Spiner: Gail, it's me please, don't give up on me! It’s Satan, he can do whatever he wants.”
Terrance: “Brent, that’s not true. Don’t give up faith, Brent.”
[12:24:51 AM] Brent Spiner: He's controlling our bodies!
Gail: “Come on, Lord. I’m going to stop and I’m going to start praying, okay?”
Terrance: “A good idea.”
[12:24:59 AM] Brent Spiner: I'm praying...
Gail: “I’m going to stop and I’m going to start praying. I’m going to get down on my knees.” All We Like Sheep from Handel’s Messiah starts playing. Gail’s praying heard in the background. Asking Jesus to rescue everybody. “I’m praying. Lord Jesus, come in there and help my men. You’re the only One who can defeat the devil. I ask you to come in there, Lord Jesus. Come on, Lord Jesus, show up. This is beyond human help, Lord Jesus. We can’t defeat the devil. You have to do it. Come on, Lord Jesus. This is beyond human help, the Lord has to do it.”
Terrance: “Yes, we be praying that, right now.”
Gail: “Lord Jesus, I just pray that You’ll come in there and help these people.”
Terrance: “Yes, we gotta stop having this gay sex. You guys gotta stop having this gay sex. Help us to stop.”
Gail: “Lord Jesus. Get the devil out of there, Lord Jesus. Come on, Lord Jesus, show up! We need Your help. Without You, we’re nothing. Come on, Lord Jesus, we need Your help. Cast this devil out of there! Come on, Lord Jesus, kill Zack Knight! Come on, Lord Jesus, we need You. Come on, Lord Jesus! Come on, Lord Jesus, show up! Come on! Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save! That’s what You say in Your Word. Now, show up, Lord Jesus! Come on, get this devil out of my men. Now, Lord Jesus, help Brent. Help Vladimir. Get the devil out of there. We are no match for Satan. If You don’t show up, we’re finished. We are nothing. We’re sinners. We’re dirty, rotten sinners. You are everything. You are awesome. You are all powerful. Come on, Lord Jesus, show up! Are you going to let that devil show You up! Come on, Lord Jesus!”
Zack Knight: “Gail, this is Zack Knight.”
Gail: “Come on, Lord Jesus. We are no match for the devil. You need to show up! Come on, Lord Jesus.”
Zack Knight: “Vladimir and Sam Barbary are still having sex.”
Gail: “The Lord’s hand is not short, that it cannot save. I’m going to get down and pray some more.” The Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all blares in the background. “You’ve got to fight the devil. I can’t fight the devil. Come on, Lord Jesus. My men try so hard. Lord, we can’t defeat the devil. You don’t do it, we’re finished. You’re the One who has to do it.
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “I prayed, I put my Bible on Matthew’s back where I can read it. And Gerard.can read it while he's behind Matthew . .”
Gail: “Lord Jesus, come on. . .Come on, Lord Jesus. Protect my men. And protect Sam Barbary. Lord Jesus, they’re using some sort of advanced technology. Lord Jesus, I just pray You’ll go in there and help them. Come on, Lord Jesus, we need You. You’ve done rescues for us already. You’ve done so much for us. You can handle this. Nothing is too hard for You. So, why are You delaying, Lord? Why are You not showing that devil up? Why are You letting him show You up? Come on, Lord Jesus. You don’t have to let him show You up. Come on, Lord. We are just dirty, rotten sinners. We are nothing. We can’t fight the devil. They’re asking me to save them. I can’t save them. You’re the One who has to do it. You’ve got to do it, Lord Jesus. We can’t do it. Come on, Lord Jesus. We’re no match for the devil. I can’t fight the devil. You got to fight the devil. And if You don’t show up, Lord, we’re all finished.”
Terrance: “Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.”
Gail: “Lord Jesus, show up.”
Terrance: “Where’s this light coming from?”
Gail: “Come on, Lord Jesus. If You don’t show up, we’re all finished. We can’t beat the devil.”
Terrance: “Gail, there’s this light.”
Gail: “What’d you say?”
Terrance: “Zack Knight looks kind of nervous.”
Gail: “Lord Jesus, if You don’t show up, we’re finished. We need You! Rescue us, Lord Jesus! Show up, Lord Jesus! We need You. Come on, Lord Jesus! Lord Jesus, show up! Come on, Lord Jesus. I’m sticking up for Your King James Bible. I’m saying that You’re bigger than Satan. Come on, Lord Jesus! Come on, Lord Jesus, we need You. Show up! Come on, if You don’t show up, we’re finished. I can’t beat the devil.”
Terrance: “Gail, Jesus has showed up. He’s got Zack Knight.”
Gail: “What’d you say?”
Terrance: “Jesus is here. He’s beating up Zack Knight.”
[12:30:03 AM] Brent Spiner: Haha! Take that Zack Knight!
[12:30:11 AM] Brent Spiner: You're the only one Jesus doesn't love!
Gail: “Yes!” She lifts her fists up into the air with triumph. “Yes! Yes! I’m going to keep playing the music.”
Zack Knight: “Oh no! Jesus, stop hitting me. Ouch!!”
Gail: “What happened?”
Zack Knight: “Ouch. Jesus giving me a rug burn. It’s Zack Knight.”
Gail: “I need to keep praying. Lord Jesus, come on. Lord Jesus, show up.”
Zack Knight: “It hurts.”
Gail: “Yes, Lord Jesus. Help Terrance. We are no match for the devil. Come on, Lord Jesus. Come on!! Don’t let the devil beat Terrance. Stick up for Terrance. He needs you. Come on, we need Your help. Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save. Lord Jesus, we need You, come on! We’re no match for the devil. If You don’t help us, we’re finished.”
Terrance: “Gail. Gail. Jesus beating up Zack Knight again.
Gail: “Okay, keep praying. The Lord has to do it, not us.”
Terrance: “He’s punching Him in the ball sack right now.”
[12:31:40 AM] Brent Spiner: He's punching those baby Jesuit seeds.
Gail: “Okay. Keep praying. Keep praying. You know, even the apostle Paul said Satan hindered him. Satan can hinder the apostle Paul, he can hinder us, keep praying! Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save. Neither his ear heavy that it cannot hear. Come on, Lord Jesus—“
Terrance: “Zack Knight’s running away! Zack Knight’s running.”
Gail: “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.”
Terrance: “Did you hear that, Jesus said, ‘Your welcome.’ Oh my goodness, Zack Knight is running real fast.”
Gail: “Thank you, Jesus. You, ROCK, God!”
Terrance: “He’s shooting lightning bolts at Zack Knight’s ball sack.”
Gail: “Yes! Thank you, Jesus.”
Terrance: “Did you hear? Jesus is talking to you, Gail.”
He is full of heaviness plays in the background.
Gail: “Oh, He is? Let me turn my music off (but Gail does not turn her music off). What are You saying, Lord? I can’t hear Him. Can you type it, Brent? What’s He saying?”
Gail: “I can’t hear Him, Brent. Type it.”
Brent Spiner (via Skype text): “He says, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant.’”
CAN READ THE REST OF THIS HERE: http://www.gabriellechana.com/jesus_valentines..htm
Copyright © 2013 Gail Chord Schuler. All Rights Reserved.